Impossible
by SimplyMarvy
Summary: Lydia for so long had been depressed and alone. When she's just started to get better the one person she thought would never come back did, and now her life is a mix of confusion, shock, and terror, while at the same time, love. JackxOC
1. Beginning

Disclaimer: I don't own Torchwood, though I do wish I did. I only own Lydia Martel, Isabella, Evan and Cari and any other characters mentioned that are obviously not a part of the tv show.

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"I feel the beating of your heart  
I see the shadows of your face  
Just know wherever you are,  
Yeah, I miss you  
And I wish you were here"

'From Where You Are' by Lifehouse

_There they were. Three of the four people I've ever loved in my life. They were looking at me, smiling those big smiles. And I just stood there watching. They held their arms out to me, waiting for me to run to them, hug and kiss them. And I did. But by the time I had reached them, they were gone. No more. I looked around, calling their names, but no one called back. I was alone. Completely alone._

I woke up with a start. It was the same dream every time I fell asleep. Every time I thought I was free of them, their faces, their haunting pale faces, they caught me back up again, making my throat close up and my eyes tear.

I looked at the clock. It was 6:32. Two hours before I needed to wake up. I pulled on some sweats and a t-shirt, sliding my sneakers on and heading out for a run. The cold april air bit my cheeks as I ran down the sidewalk, trying to run off the pain of remembering.

Seven years earlier, I was living in Cardiff, Wales. I was twenty-two, happy, and in love. But then my love was shot. He had been trying to stop a robbery and was shot right in front of me. The robber ran off, leaving me with my bleeding boyfriend. He died in my arms and was quickly taken away by the police. The next day, they called to let me know that his body had gone missing. They suspected someone had stolen the body, thinking that whoever had taken it could sell the valuable body parts on the black market while they were still fresh.

It was three weeks after his death when I realised I was pregnant. Five weeks pregnant to be exact. I was so happy, so happy that I had at least one thing to hold on to in life.

The pregnancy wasn't easy. My mother called me a tramp, saying I was a whore for letting a man that I wasn't married to put his hands all over me. But I had stopped learning to care about her opinion long before. My siblings helped me out. Evan, my older brother, and Cari, my little sister, made sure I was constantly comfortable. They were both so excited for me.

When I gave birth, and they handed me this little small child. This baby girl that I had longed to hold for so long, I fell in love with her. She was my small girl, my precious child. My Isabella. And no one would ever take her away from me. Not if I could stop it.

I got a job at a cafe. Working noon to closing time six days a week. Sundays were my day off. My time with Isabella.

It lasted four months.

Cari was babysitting Isabella. She was on her way back to my house, about to drop her off like she always did, when a car drove through a red light and hit them straight on. The police told me that they were both dead instantly. My little sister, and my precious little darling baby. I would never get either of them back, ever.

It had been eight months after my boyfriend died, that our child was born. Four months and that same child was dead, along with my lovely little sister.

My father had died when I was three, and my mother was a mean old witch who only cared about what people thought. That left my brother Evan.

I only had Evan left, out of everyone, and he was the only thing that kept me going. The two of us moved to London for five years, but his job needed him to be back in Cardiff, so I went with him, unable to live without seeing him every day. Though he understood my pain, I could tell that at the same time he didn't. Every once and a while he would bring up the idea of me dating again, or even going out without him needing to come get me. But I couldn't do it. It just hurt too much. Running in the morning was the most I could do on my own, and even that was a stretch at times.

Every where I went, I saw their faces. It hurt too much to look, so I just stayed indoors for the most part. I couldn't look or I'd remember, and remembering hurt too much for me to bear.

As I ran, I heard sirens. I heard their call. Their loud, blaring, exciting call that signifize danger lurking nearby. I ran faster, alongside the path that lights and noises traveled to. For once, I was ready to see what was out there, in the real world. For once since that fateful day, I wanted to see danger and not run away.

So I ran faster. My legs pushing against the ground, the sights and sounds and smells of the street racing by as I hurried to catch up with the police cars.

And then I was there, standing in a crowd of other people passing by, wondering what was going on. I stood in the middle of the crowd, looking on to a scene. It was a murder, in the back of an alley. Two women, killed and thrown in trash cans. People whispered, some who knew the women cried. Police were pushing people back so they could put up the police tape that everyone recognized from some point in their lives or other. A black SUV drove up, the words TORCHWOOD imprinted on the side.

I glanced at the car as a team stepped out, two women and three men pushing past the crowd, and being let in to the crime scene. I breathed in the sights of life and death around me, a bit terrified to be surrounded by so many strangers, and at the same time thrilled. I had gone outside, chased down a police car to a crime scene, and stood among a crowd of strangers. Oh, wait till I tell Evan.

Something caught my eye as I meant to leave. One of the Torchwood guys. He looked familiar. Too familiar for comfort. I could only see the back of his head, the rest obscured by the crowd in front me. But then he turned, and I knew who it was.

Memories rushed through my brain, painful thoughts that shouldn't be known, and I knew.

Jack.

The love of my life. Father of my dead darling girl.

But he was dead.

My dead Jack was alive. And working. And seemingly fine.

And as I took a shuddering step back, he turned, and his eyes found mine, almost as if he could feel me.

His beautiful eyes widened with surprise and shock, mirroring my own, and I was gone before he could move again.

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Hope you liked the first chapter. Please review! Thanks


	2. Torchwood?

"I'd take another chance, take a fall  
Take a shot for you  
And I need you like a heart needs a beat  
But it's nothin new"

'Apologize' OneRepublic

I couldn't breath.

I couldn't feel anything.

Just pain.

The pain of seeing him, seeing him alive and well, and knowing that he had died in front of me. Knowing that he had died and yet there he was, alive. In any normal circumstance, I would be happy. So ecstatic for him because he didn't die. But if he didn't die, then that means he left me. He left me, and therefore unknowingly left our child Isabella. Now that I was thinking this, I couldn't stop but think that if he hadn't left me, would Isabella still be alive? Would Cari? Would I be taking Isabella to school right now instead of running away from a crime scene?

I couldn't think like this. Not now. Not when I had only just seen him. I had to find Evan. Find Evan, and have him help me find Jack.

I ran as fast as I could all the way home, even taking the shortcut through our neighbor's yard. Racing up the porch stairs and through the front door, I glanced into the kitchen to see Evan making coffee.

"Evan!!!!" I exclaimed. He jumped in surprise, turning to look at me.

"Yes? What? What is it? Are you okay?"

"I saw Jack!!" I said.

He looked at me very carefully. "Jack?"

"Jack Harkness?" I exclaimed, "Ex-boyfriend that died in my arms Jack?!"

"Well, then how could you possibly have seen him if he's dead?"

"I know that, but I swear on my life that he was there, and he looked just like he did when he was alive!"

Now Evan was looking worried. "Sweetie, Lydia, Jack is dead. And even if you saw his body, it would be rotted and such a mangled corpse by now that you wouldn't even be able to recognize it."

"I KNOW that, Evan!!! I know how crazy I must sound, and how impossible it must seem, but he was real! And he was fucking there, God damn it!"

Now, in all the years Evan had been my brother, he had probably only heard me swear, oh maybe a total of nine times in my life? I'm not one to swear, and obviously my use of the F word really shocked him.

"O-okay..." he mumbled. "Why don't you start from the beginning. Like, where you saw him?"

So I told him about how I woke up early and went on a run, then chased down the cop cars till I found the murder scene, and about how I was going to leave when I saw him, and then he looked at me and I knew it was him. "It didn't just look like him, like someone does when they grow older. It WAS him. It was the same face, same look, that he had when we were still going out."

"And you said, what was it? Firewood?" he asked, sitting down at the computer and going on Google.

"Torchwood." I corrected.

"Torchwood, right." He scanned through the first few pages of results, before sighing and said "Nothing. Absolutely nothing. There's nothing on this of any thing called Torchwood."

"Try Jack's name."

"Captain Jack Harkness, right?"

"Yeah."

He scanned the first pages of that, too. "The only things I can find are of a Captain Jack Harkness that served in World War one. Family member, maybe? But nothing on your Jack."

"There has to be something. Anything!" I moaned. I needed something. I couldn't have found him just to lose him again.

"Here, how about this. You stay in today, rest, and I'll check in at work and see if their databases have anything on him."

Evan works as a vice president of a local mobile phone company. If Jack had a phone, Evan would be able to find it.

"Alright." I sighed. I looked at myself. "'Should probably get dressed, shouldn't I?"

He laughed, a dry bear laugh, and smiled softly. "Yeah. Go on and get dressed. Find something to eat. Don't worry about Jack right now. If he is out there, we'll find him."

"Thanks, Evan. You're the best." I said.

"I know, I know." He sighed. He turned and was about to head out the door as he pulled on his coat, when he stopped and looked at me. "Lydia?"

"Yes?"

"Do you mind if I ask you a question?"

"Shoot."

"Why do you want to find Jack so bad? I mean, not that I have anything against finding him, but if he is alive, that means that he left. He left _you_."

I stopped, thinking before I said anything. "I guess, in a way, if I find him then I want to know why he left. Maybe he couldn't help it? Maybe he was taken against his will?"

"But if so, wouldn't he try to find you at another point? And if so, wouldn't he find out about Isabella?"

I looked at him, maybe a bit too coldly. "I just want to know what happened."

He took a step back, and nodded. Even if my brother would never admit it, he was a bit afraid of me. Not of what I could do, which wasn't much, but of the possibility of me leaving him, or hating him even. In his eyes, he had lost almost as much as I had, and though he was better at coping, the fact that I was always here was too reassuring to him to let me live on my own just yet.

My brother left, taking his car and going to work. I headed up to my room.

After I had showered and put on some jeans and a shirt, I went down to get some food to eat from the kitchen. I made a sandwich and got out some orange juice. I drank the pulpy drink slowly, savoring the taste of citrus on my tongue.

I watched 'Merlin' on television, smiling at the faces of the young Arthur and Merlin. I had to admit, they were attractive. Nothing like the gorgeously handsome Jack, but still. In a more simple way, they were handsome. I would probably date one of the two if they asked me out. But that wasn't going to happen.

After several episodes of the show, I received a call. Taking out the phone that Evan gave me, I answered.

"Hello?"

"Hi am I speaking to Lydia Martel?"

It was a woman. Who would call me? I lost touch with most of my friends years ago. "Yes." I said slowly. "Who is this?"

"This is Gwen Cooper. I'm a member of Torchwood."

And then I fell off the couch. "Ow." I mumbled, rubbing my head around the spot that hit the coffee table.

"Hello? Lydia? Are you there?"

I reached for the phone. "Yes? Sorry. I fell off the couch..."

I heard faint laughter in the background. "Oh, I'm sorry?" Gwen said, a bit confused apparently. "Are you alright?"

"What? Oh, yes, fine. Happens every once in a while." I laughed bitterly. "I'm not exactly the most graceful person in the world."

"Oh, well, as long as your okay." She said.

It was quiet for a moment, as I heard some clicking of fingers on a keyboard.

"I'm sorry, but is there a reason for your call?" I asked. As happy as I was that they called, I really wanted to know why. Did Jack find me? But then why was he having her call for him? If he wanted to find out about me, he could just call himself...

"Yes, sorry. Momentarily distracted. I was actually wondering if you would mind answering some questions in a little bit? We have some questions about some of your neighbors, and were hoping to ask around."

"That sounds fine, I guess. Would you like to come round, or meet up somewhere?" I asked, mildly disappointed. So Jack didn't ask them to call.

"Actually, could you come to our headquarters? I'll come to get you, on Roald Dahl Plass?"

I was a bit stunned by this invitation but agreed. "Um, what time, exactly?"

"Let's say, four o'clock this afternoon?" Gwen asked. "Is that alright for you?"

"Yes, of course. I'll stop by then."

"Alright, see you soon." and then there was the click of the phone hanging up and she was gone.

I was momentarily shocked. "I'm going to the Torchwood base. Where I might see Jack. Oh, God." and then I fell back onto the floor again. "Ow."

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Please Review! Thanks!


	3. AN sorry guys

Sorry guys but I've been away from this story for so long...I'm not gonna finish. I just tried a few days ago to see if I could but its just going nowhere. Sorry!

SimplyMarvy


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